Embracing Self-Worth: Prioritising Your Feelings Amidst Bullying and Discrimination

Date:- 23rd May 2023

Dear Friend,

I hope this letter finds you in good health and spirits. I am writing this letter to you today to share a very personal story—a lesson I have learned the hard way. Life has always been challenging in some way or another. In full disclosure, I had working parents who always did their best to protect me and provide me with all the comforts they could. However, I had to face other demons. My classmates heavily bullied me, and even my cousins subjected me to racial discrimination.

My maternal cousins, with whom I grew up in a joint family, left no stone unturned to avoid me and make me believe I was the odd one out. Looking back, colour might not have been the only issue. They may have included other factors, such as growing egos in the family. Nevertheless, colour played a prominent role and was often discussed in discussions. As things progressed, I sought refuge in my mother, who became my go-to support system. Eventually, Brownie (My dog, who was like a brother to me) entered my life and filled any void left. Now, at this point, I have lost both my mom, in whose hands I grew up and Brownie, who grew up in my hands.

However, continuing with my story, In my early childhood days, this pushed me into a corner. As I mentioned, my mother was always there for me, and my sister Mahathi has also been a great support. Looking back, in comparison the bullying I faced at school didn't hurt me as much. Many children, especially those with darker skin, go through similar experiences in school. Although it's not right, children often engage in such behaviour, which gets diluted as they grow. Some children get bullied about their height, weight; the list goes on. I hope that, with millennial parents, children will be taught not to engage in such behaviour.

What truly hurt me was the behaviour of my cousins. It wasn't just about skin colour; after a while, it felt like they were having fun at my expense. We were a group of six cousins, and while a few of them individually were nice to me, as a collective group, they were always mean. However, everything changed as I grew up and started helping my father with household chores like buying vegetables, walking Brownie, or accompanying him on outings. My conversations with my dad still have a lasting impact on me today. Suddenly, I no longer sought validation or felt insecure. I became confident and felt a sense of inner strength. A "can't be bothered" attitude took hold of me. I loved my 10th class, the last year of my school. I never allowed anybody to hurt me. Any attempt in that direction was met with a strong response. Most of my classmates might have thought that Anirudh always created trouble. However, Anirudh was standing up for himself, something he hadn't done until then. Now that he was responding, it caught your attention.

This is precisely what I want to convey—if you have faced similar experiences or bullying, remember this: "You are not at fault. You are as important as anyone else and deserve respect. There will always be individuals who enjoy pulling others down but don't concern yourself with them. Confidence and a strong belief in yourself render their jibes pointless. Confidence is not about success or failure—it's not a destination from point A to point B. It's faith that you will manage and pull through no matter what happens. This changes everything. Remember, your feelings matter too. If you don't like something, express it. If you can't do something, admit it. It's the very nature of life that you can't please everyone. If people don't understand, then they shouldn't have been in your life in the first place. Those people won't bring you any good, so move on.

Will I hold this against my cousins even today, especially when a few of them have even apologised for their past behaviour? Of course not! But will I forget it? Probably not! I never forget anything. I advise you the same. In Sadguru's words, "We should forgive people and not carry any bitterness within us. But, we should never forget our past because a society that forgets its past falls prey to the same misfortunes again." That's all I wanted to share for now. I'll write to you again next week. I hope this helps you !!

With Regards,

D.S.S.R. Anirudh

(23/05/2023)